y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
