Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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