i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
