I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Pooping to opera.
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