Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
