summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There's even glitter on my cock...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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