Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
