So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
