I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Everclear isn't food dammit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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