Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this boner is exhausting
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize