i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she peed on how many people?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got inside last night via doggy door
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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