We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
