Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
