I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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