gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
