The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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