I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
