Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
