I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
