Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
