He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize