So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Who died my cat blue again?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
