omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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