woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize