Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
