Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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