Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
