Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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