vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize