tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
