So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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