I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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