We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
