Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
