Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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