i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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