he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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