that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
