What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
