dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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