Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
