So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
