at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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