I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
