I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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