matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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