I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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