Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
