Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
