R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
