She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
