This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize