I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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