remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
