um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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