what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i've created a new STD.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
