She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
