Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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