so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
