i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
