I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
