i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
