It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize