just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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