1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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