i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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