There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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