Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
