the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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