Jerry, you need to find god
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
