My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
